right

so
this weekend i've realised stuff
stuffstuffstuff
good stuff and bad stuff but still just stuff
i'm moving on, and i know it for reeeal this time

go me
i suppose
and tbh, i've realised how much i really really hate you. alot.
because you are
a
fucking
ugly
cunt
the end.

the amount of times i've heard in the last few months that i "could do so much better", and "what am i doing wasting my time with him" etcetc, and it's only just sunk in that i actually could do better? it didn't really occur to me before.
but at the same time i'm still sitting here like, "well if i could do better where the fuck is mr better?"

i'm sure he'll turn up soon
fingers crossed eh?

niceee

i've realised how much i hate alot of people that i thought i was friends with
and the people i thought i didnt get on with turn out to be some of my best friends?
weeeird

anyway, alot of you REALLY annoy me and its really mean to say it but just allow you aha i just cba with people who are gonna pretend to be my friend, but underneath it all are you really my friends? naaaaaaaaaa

this weekend has been weird. i can't tell if it was good or not :\
oh well, onwards and upwards i suppose, i'm so busy this month with parties and concerts so hopefully march will go really quickly,
and then april! ALLOW
dreading itttt alot more than i should be. 2 weeks ago i would've been BUZZING for april, but now im not too sure. baaah
also, anyone else find it really weird that it's pretty much already march? 2010 is going waay to quickly :\

mmmm laters haters

its been a while

shocker! over 2 weeks
alot has happened, some bad some good.
i've had the sickest week skiing and i really didn't want to come home, and now i know why.
england is shit.
and this weather what the fuck?! it just makes no sense.
is it snow? is it rain? AND IT MAKES HAVING A FAG SO MUCH HARDER
ughhhhh

anyway, i moved on from you then i moved straight back in again, and now it's as if nothing has ever changed from 3 weeks ago. how annoying.
i'm in the right frame of mind i just can't seem to do what needs to be done
everytime i try you pull me back again
CHEEKY

ah well, i need to go and check on my lasagne
nommm

jumpyjumpy

my jumper came in the post yeeeeeeeah
i hate ordering things online it makes me so nervous for the days coming up to the arrival of the package! i'm such a loser but oh well
the jumpers alright, a big on the big side but oh well still nice
and jumpers are ALLOWED to be a bit baggaaay
yay!

anyway, ive decided i'm erasing you from my life
and im feeling POSITIVE about it this time
woooo?

ah dear
laters!

contemplation

why have i let things get like this?
this whole situation is just verging on ridiculous, and nobody actually understands meee
if i tell someone about it and us, they either just laugh in my face or tell me to man up
i'm such a fucking dick and it PISSES ME OFF
i honestly need to man up, and the worst thing is, whever i think of you together i get the biggest wave of jealousy and nostalgia and regret it makes me angry at myself
and i feel so stupid
and its all because of you, and i dont even understand
and just allow it


also, my haircut sucks

bugs and stuff

i'm rekindling my love for the beatles
only just realised how sick the first few albums are and nobody knows any of the songs on them

i wish i was a beatle
but im glad im not a beetle
BYE

hangovers

as dread as they are i really quite love waking up knowing that last night was sick, just by the fact that i still can't see straight and i feel like barfing every 10 seconds

oh love my life ahahahaha

feeeeeeelings

i realise now that i have too many
whenever i looook at you i just want to shout at you and tell you everything that's like bubbling up inside of me
oh gaaaaaaad

and everyone thought i was a heartless bitch...

chilly willy

it's so cold

i want summer back, and no more snow please
i miss sitting on the green in town all daay in the sun and then the lakes at night without it being ridonkulously cold
i miss cricket and i miss sunbathing at lunchtimes
i miss not having to wear coat, hat, scarf and gloves every single minute of the day
i miss going to sleep with just one duvet and my legs hanging out of the bed
i miss summer and the sun

this isn't faair, this stupid lack of heat is just making everything so much worse
im so sick of everything being worse, i want things bettterr, how they used to be
but no, no no. obviously that can't/won't happen
i just cannot wait until this summer, it's the only thing pulling me throough

i've got all my mock results back and i got mostly Bs with a couple of As and 2 Cs
this isn't cool, and it's suddenly dawned on me; the ridiculous amount of work im gonna have to do if i want to live up to everyone's expectations of me and these fucking GCSEs
so much stress, and if i'm being honest at the moment i have fuck all motivations to do anything about it

oh welll, i'm sure it will be fine
i just need some sun
or a holiday

PINCH PUNCH FIRST OF THE MONTH

new month new start
well i can try atleast...

why is it that if someone sometimes makes you happy, it doesn't matter how angry/sad they make you, those moments of happiness mean everything and all the rest is forgotten? and suddenly all i'm living for are these rare moments of light.


i am such a bell